The First Kilt

First Man: what are you wearing?

Second Man: what do you mean?

First Man: That dress. why are you wearing a dress?

Second Man: I am not wearing a dress.

First Man: looks like it.

Second Man: I am not.

First Man: Well what did you do, cut up a blanket and wrap it around you?

Second Man: Yes actually. but I didn’t have a choice. and quite frankly, it’s quite comfortable.

First Man: What, wearing a blanket is comfortable? you look ridiculous!

Second Man: I do? No matter. It is really quite comfortable. I think it will catch on one day.

First Man: Wearing a blanket as a dress? whatever made you think of that?

Second Man: It was either this, or wear one of my wife’s dresses to be honest.

First Man: What!?

Second Man: I have only the one pair of pants you see, and they got ruined so I had to figure something out, didn’t I?

First Man: How did you ruin your pants?

Second Man: Never mind that. You can’t imagine the freedom!

First Man: Um, really? but it’s a dress!

Second Man: It isn’t a dress! Now; I have been thinking this through. And if we manly it up a bit, Perhaps it could become all the rage.

First Man: Have you gone mad? Wearing blanket dresses as an everyday thing?

Second Man: Actually,yeah. I say we make it into some kind of pattern. Something manly of course. like stripes. but some thick and some thin. We could call it something.

First Man: Patterns? Stripes what are you on about?

Second Man: Well yeah, give it a manly name so as to help keep the boundary between a woman’s dress and this.

First Man: Okay, now your just messing with me. You want a form of man dress?

Second Man: Sure! That’s the point! We have to call it something manly though. Like, flannel or tarton or something. I don’t know, we should brainstorm!

First Man: Now you’re just trying to start a fight. FIrst you want to make dresses out of blankets, now you want to put some kind of stripes on them? You’re mad!

Second Man: No! think about it! If we make these things, and sell them as a manly item, they’d be all the rage. How many   people you know keep complaining of the pants they have to wear?

First Man: Well, you do have a point.

Second Man: Of course I do! Now, we give them manly colors, and put some kind of manly print on them, they will sell out rather quickly, i can feel it.

First Man: Maybe, but you can’t go with just one angle. they have   to have some kind of multy purpose.

Second Man: Let’s see… Well, we could make fancy ones and ones for everyday.

First Man: I don’t know…

Second Man: Yeah, we can tell men that if they go out and drink too much, wearing this will make it a whole lot easier   to, you know, relieve themselves.

First Man: That does make sense…

Second Man: Almost a hands free sort of thing! And you won’t  accidentally urinate on yourself!

First Man: What about your shoes?

Second Man: Okay, but you can just say that it was dark and you accidentally walked in it or something. It isn’t on your clothes, that’s my point. Whatever the case, your wife’s none the wiser.

First Man: Of course that would mean that you couldn’t wear anything underneath.

Second Man: Um, yeah, the beauty is that we never really wore anything underneath our pants anyway.

First Man: True….

Second Man: And this way there isn’t any of that nasty chafing or anything.

First Man: That seems like a smart first starter to me.

Second Man: Yeah, right? So now what do you think?

First Man: I think we should figure out this pattern thing first. Give it a name, and try to get the popular guys to wear them first. You know as a trend setter.

Second Man: Perfect. let’s do this.

First Man: Okay. But flannel? really? Using my last name to butter me up is kinda a low blow, don’t you think?

Second Man: But hey, you’ld be famous!

First Man: I don’t know. lets just keep the name open for now. I don’t really want your blanket man dress to be named after me. That would be rather embarrasing.

Second Man: Okay. not flannel. But how about tartan? He is so drunk most of the time, I doubt he would even notice.

First Man: Maybe… It’s a start. Let’s just figure out some kind of manly pattern first. Then the name should just happen.

Second Man: Right. Sounds good.

 

 

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This all started on the cusp of sleep. That time between awake and slumber. Just as i was nodding off a thought popped into my head. And as most ideas do, I awoke with the problem that if i didn’t write the idea out, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all. So, two words popped into my head. Two simple words. “First Kilt.” I immediately had to type this out. In this case, i had no idea as to what was going to be the next sentence until I got to it. I had no idea where it would lead or if it had any merit. I post this because i find it a bit funny.